lose yourself

I was lucky to have listened to my roommate yesterday and after some urging, decided to watch Black Swan. A fantastic movie with fantastic production, intense drama and warranted sex. The movie however is obviously more than that otherwise this blog would never be.

The story is based on an attempt to lose oneself, to live for the self in the moment with no inhibitions, apprehensions, worries. It maybe likened to Karma yoga in the truest sense, where one is totally lost in the pursuit of an absolutely selfless act. This however is a difficult task in the modern society where there are distractions and phosphoric acid drinks (look at ingredients of a common aerated soft drink) ( I chose this metaphor to refer to the BS everyone has to live with) and of course, resulting distress; and I was led to question how to practice this difficult task.

I gave it some thought throughout the day and think I saw some light. The art of losing yourself (or Karma Yoga as I have decided to call it) is difficult because it is imperceptible but when done in the right way, it is like a sweet dream that leaves few memories after waking up. The movie is about dancing, a very graceful art. The self can however be lost by ways of meditation, sports, cooking, cleaning the car, literally anything. All one needs to do is sincerely love the act, but make it selfless by not expecting anything out of it.

Life would be so different if we did this. All the best.

between the burried and me

Yes this is about the band. I have been discovering music that I had in my own computer ever since I bought a 160 GB ipod, probably because it is with me all the time and there is always a time and mood for that one song which you wont play otherwise. So there was time for experimentation too and I got lucky btbam.

It is very abstract very heavy music lacking a general structure. So if you are into progressive music like Opeth, some Jethro Tull (minstrel in the gallery like stuff), some Meshuggah etc. you will like it. It does take a little getting used to though, mood changes in a btbam song are often quite random and it is quite heavy on the ear. But there is beauty in this for sure, listen to the album called Colors and you will know what I am talking about.

Good progressive metal overall. Hope you like it.

There is almost no light music by the band. My favorite track is 'ants of the sky'

finally it is over

Yes.. it is over finally. Even with a slight glitch in the guitar and a slight confusion during the first song, I think it went pretty well. The best part of the show was (in my opinion) the Karnatic classical music in the beginning. What a performance by 4 amazingly talented people 2 on vocals and a guy on mridangam and another on violin.

Entertaining a crowd is certainly not an easy task. Countless hours of frustrating monotonous preparation goes into a 20 mins of live performance. The performance should be thrilling. It should make people happy (maybe sad in a few cases of serious drama or music), whatsoever, it should really be good enough to trigger some reaction in the brain that releases the emotion goo. Obviously lots of people can do it very well. Thats why we go to see concerts and dramas.

The most important part in all of this is ofcourse, the preparation and rehearsals. I was glad I was a part of this all. It must have certainly not been as thrilling as watching porcupine tree play live (quite far from it, very very far indeed) but it was a good effort none the less and I guess that is what counts at the end.

holi celebration

Yes.. one more chance to perform on stage in front of a crowd.. this is such a delight... The rehearsals and all the jokes someone keeps cracking all the time.. awesome fun...

another thing that is really the cherry on the cake is my new PRS guitar.. what a marvelous instrument.. On a random trip to guitar center, I gathered enough courage to go ask the shopkeeper if I could try the $2990 PRS, which hangs behind the counter and is for very few to touch... I think I had dressed up decently (for a change) otherwise I wouldn't be allowed to try it out anyway..

So sitting in front of the amplifier that would do a $2990 instrument justice, I started playing and my first reaction was.. hmm.. well, yeah... its nothing great... it was certainly better than my guitar but nothing worth $2990. Maybe if I had spent a day with it, the beautu of the guitar would pour out..

But anyway, coming back to the story, all hindi songs so far.. nice numbers by kailsah kher, one by agnee called aahatein and 3 more i guess... lets see what happens...

the only thing that is hurting is the thought of the pending stat mech homework.. a tough one this time and not even started.. (due day after).. research comes in surges i guess and fortunately or unfortunately, I am having a low right now...

whatever it is, I will rock out that day... stay tuned for more updates..

random confusing day with Subho, Kitty and I

The day began slowly when all of us woke up at 11 am, 4 hours after the expected time. I think the wine the night before was good. We quickly decided to meet up at Pamela's to have breakfast, in "approximately an hour"; in the meanwhile Subhodeep (Subho hereafter) would go for his run and kitty would go with me to my school and get some printouts to read for an upcoming exam. Thereafter we would play badminton. Subho asked me if I could carry his bag of fresh clothes so that he could change at school after the run and I was happy to help. Well, all set...

Subho left for his run and Kritika (Kitty hereafter) and I set off for the bus stand. Both of us were quite happy to have a bus come very soon, a rarity on the 5th avenue near shady side.

Happily conversing, we had just stepped out of the bus in our stop when Kitty asked, "where is Subho's bag?".

Crap! the bag had been forgotten at home, "what should I do", I thought, "it would be too impolite and against gentleman behavior to let Kitty go fetch it.. furthermore as Subho had asked me to carry it, it is more my fault than hers."

"Let me set my sample on the XRay machine (an experiment I had pending)", I suggested, " and then we will decide". While setting up my experiment I kept looking hard for a reason to go back and pick up the bag just so that I didn't feel like I had totally wasted an hour in the process and Bingo!!

I had my Holi musical program rehearsals that same evening and needed to fetch the guitar. Both of us went back to get the bag, luckily no drama in the bus stop this time.

We came back and waited for Subho's phone call, but no, nothing came. The phone rang about an hour later, "Subho has already had lunch" ,Kitty told me, "he was waiting outside Pamela's and eventually got fed up, ate and left by himself".

Man!! I thought, what a crazy day. "Well, let's go and have lunch" was the next thing that came to my mind, both of us were quite hungry by then. "Let's go and have something in Panera bread, it would be nice to try totally vegetarian food for a change and the place is well known for that, furthermore Kitty is also a vegan and let's respect that." So both of us bought a huge basket full of salad each, (so large that I thought it was enough for a goat for a day).

Well after lunch, I got back to work, and Kitty went to buy an umbrella. (sounds like an abstract statement, my pending work had been killing me and the rain outside had been killing Kitty). As soon as I got back to lab and started off, the phone rang again, "Hey basu, come over to CMU, get my stuff and lets play badminton after that". Fine, sounds like a good plan. Off we went again towards the bus stand and a bus came immediately (it was a lucky day for catching buses I guess).

Soon after reaching CMU, Kitty gets a call from her cousin who she was supposed to meet at 10 AM in the morning (its 1PM now). Her cousin sister is coming to pick her up. Subhodeep also had some work and hence GC and I decide to go play a set; GC smartly sneaks me into the skeebo gym.. yay, I don't have to pay for using another university's facilities. About an hour and a half later, we go back and find Kitty studying a paper intently. "What happened Kitty, didn't you go?".

"My sister didn't show up yet".

"You could have come and played with us".

"I know right.... " (sigh), is Kitty's pet dialogue in such situations.

So I go back to my university to finish my work.

Around in the evening I get a call from the Holi event organizer, "hey dude! no practices today.. we will start from tomorrow".

"Why did I go get my guitar then!!", I was cursing myself.

Subho calls after about an hour, "basu, call up Kitty and tell her that we will go for dinner at around 8:30PM near oakland, thats fine with you right? "

"yeah.. perfect"

"Well, just take care of this as I think I left my phone at home".

"Ok sure".

So the plans were made and communicated by text through phone.

Some time later at 8:20PM, Subho calls, "Hi Basu, whats going on, I am at Kalyan's home, where is Kitty and is her cousin joining us? can you find out and call me back on this number".

"Yeah sure".

I did the needful, "We will meet you at starbucks near oakland. Kitty's sister is joining us, I will be there in 10 min", I told him after that.

So I finish my work quickly and leave for the cafe; pretty much soon after I entered the place, the beautiful server told me with a stereotypical server smile, "I am sorry, we are closing up, you have to leave".

damn!! what do we do now, its raining outside and we can't go far away, Subho is expecting us here. So we waited in the super cold rainy breeze barely managing to stay dry in front of the shop across the street.

After Subho arrived, we decide to go to 'India garden' a good Indian food restaurant on atwood street, just a few blocks away.

The food was great but the music was ultra loud and ultra fast, encouraging indirectly to stuff the food in your stomach and get the hell out of the restaurant as soon as possible. One spoon a beat would be great but faster eating rates are welcome.

Finally after the day long drama, we reached home and Kitty was set to leave for Vermont.

What a day, so much confusion and mismanagement. But then, a great day, so full of fun and most importantly making a new friend and knowing the person better. This one will certainly stay fresh for a while, I miss it now. I wish it lasted longer.